"hidden"

2am most often asks me what it is we fear most. . . And I always answer the same
Love… loving to hard like my heart beats don’t’ come with a price or not being loved enough like you can only wring out my soul so many times before it never takes on it’s original shape and becomes unrecognizable even to God
We hide ourselves like high school bedroom secrets nobodies supposed to know about
laughing awkwardly to fill the silences in between bed sheets and second chances
And I wonder how long we can keep these stories locked away in memories
I wonder how long before the secrets have had enough, break free of there prison, and the  silence caves in and enraptures us in colors to dark to be brave in
Why are we so scared to take off the mask and be bare . . . Exposed like a target
Let them be archers with arrows made of doubts and take there best shot
Be brave with me, take my hand
Be my tower
And I will try to be truthful, sincere actions, honesty character, may my words make mountains bend at their knees and cry lullabies to the moon at midnight when she illuminates space and the distances between stars, is she laughing or crying or just sitting silently from her throne in the galaxy does she notice how I stare at her. . . Dispirited and lonely, I stare at her, hoping she stares back with equal wonder
And I like to think it makes her sad, like mournful cello strings, that she can’t reach down and accept me, can’t reach down and heal my ailing soul
Like I needed her to
Cause I pulling of the skin that was never mine to wear
I spent to many years watching my dreams walk across high wired lines of never gunna happen
Scared to be wrong, I kept them safe in my deepest thoughts where no body could, mess with them
But you be my tower. . . Archaic infrastructure brilliant like an epic
Carry me when my knees buckle under in fear of the unknown
And I will dance in your arms the choreography of angels
And I will learn how to be brave. . .
In the movements may I find God in the struggle and the pain
May I be ruined like a last kiss heartbreak
And rebuilt like sunset, across an African plane
With nothing in site but life for miles
And may I learn how to dream again cause my eyelids have forgot how
May I confess my love to the moon and may she sweep me off my feet kiss me with her
Mystery
I ask all this in the name of the nameless power more purer than smiles spread across the face of poverty
May I be given a second chance to be brave, and come out from my hiding place
And show you all what I’m made of. . .
If you seek me. . . I will be found,
Although I can not say you will like what it is you find. . .
Because you have gotten so used to this façade. . .
I’m an unrecognizable
Severed and shaking in fear
Hear me tremble, hear my breathing quake like thunder
I am not ready, not fully braced for your blow
But hit me with all you got because the pieces that remain scarred as they may be
They will be worth saving
I hope the core of me is worth saving
I hope the nothingness of me fades
Will you tower over me like the moon’s kingdom and love me like her clearest and warmest nights
Love me like purple flowers, as I peel back my charade like
A child peels back pages of books where dragons are kings, and magic is not feared
Love me like beauty loved her beast at the end when she finally saw his heart
Behind the monster I am trying to leave behind my monstrosity so love me as
I slam that door shut and walk out and wear courage like a summer dress
That eats sunlight and dances to blue skies
I am finally becoming spring after a winter that lasted far to long
And it would mean eternity to me if someone was ready to roll around in my bloom
Enjoy my petals
And love me out of hiding